Bittersweet Symphony

Well, I hate to sound so negative in my first entry, but I just got a temporary job at a nationally recognized, full service advertising firm. Darn.

I know I should be jumping up and down for joy, and I guess part of me is; otherwise, what point would there be in taking it? This job will get me noticed when my name is hidden among many others in a pile of resumes on a Springfield desk, and it’ll provide about $2,500-$3,000 to take with me to Missouri after a summer of no income.

Believe me, I am thrilled about both of those things. But after 3 months of not seeing my boyfriend, my family, or my friends (or my cat, dog, and the new pet frog in our backyard pond, for that matter), I am just reluctant to tack on another 2 months, especially when those 2 months are ones that I’m leaving Patrick alone in the apartment in a brand new city where he knows nobody. That would have been a fun and exciting situation if I were there too, but alas…

Maybe it sounds like I’m being dramatic- and maybe I am. After all, we’ll live and we’ll be a little richer and I’ll be a little more experienced. But:

1) I was surprised that I challenged myself to simply take the plunge for the first 3 months since I hadn’t ever been away from home for more than 2 weeks. They went faster than I expected, but I was excited that I only had 2 weeks remaining! How am I going to handle what turned into a 5 month absence?

2) When I first came to Austin, I was really depressed being away from everybody, and I hate knowing that I’ll be doing that to Patrick. That's especially difficult.

I know that at the end of these next 2 months, I’ll be happy I did it, but I guess for now, it's time to buck up and take it all, both the good and the bad.